Step 1:  Provide when the child may have access to the item or activity. 

  You may skip this step when the item or activity is off limits (touching the hot stove or running into traffic).

  Example:  “You can have juice with your lunch” or “we can play outside after breakfast”

Step 2:  Provide an alternative. 

  Give the child some ideas of items or activities that they can have.  The item or activity you choose should be close to the item they are requesting.

  Example:  “You can have water” or “We can get out puzzles to play”

Step 3:  Help the child get started with the new activity or item. 

  Focus your energy on getting started with the new activity or item.  Avoid saying “no” or “do not”.

  Example:  (after the child agreed to the water/puzzle instead) “I’ll get you the water” or “let’s get out the puzzle and I’ll help you get started”

Step 4:  Help your child calm down. 

  Treat this as a teaching moment and work on calming skills.  During this process you may identify activities that help your child calm down, i.e. sitting in a quiet space or lying on the couch.

  Example: “how about we rest for a little bit on the couch” or “let’s go get a drink of water and calm down”